Today i am sharing thehilarious one liner jokes collection best and latest updates by our team. For when you are in a hurry to make people laugh, just pull out one of these brilliant short funny jokes that are guaranteed to make people laugh, probably because of how silly they are. They are all perfectly true though.These jokes have been available for a while at the bottom of each page, selected at random. Here’s the whole list for those of you who love one liners – though strictly speaking they’re question/answer jokes or two line jokes really. Warning: some of them are quite crude.
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These jokes have been available for a while at the bottom of page, selected at random. Here’s the whole list for those of you who love one liners. Below we’ve gathered together a collection of the most hilarious one liners we could find – these aren’t just good one liners, they’re great one liners! We hope you enjoy them as much as us…
One Liner Jokes
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
What's worse than waking up at a party and finding a penis drawn on your face? Finding out it was traced.
Why is there so much blood in my alcohol system?
I'm the kind of guy who stops the microwave at 1 second just to feel like a bomb defuser.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
I sometimes watch birds and wonder "If I could fly who would I shit on?"
I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you.
There are three kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't.
Your family tree must be a cactus because everybody on it is a prick.
A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.
Never break someone's heart because they have only one inside...break their bones because they have 206 of them.
My mind wants to dance but my body is a really awkward white guy.
I'm not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone.
Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you're CuTe
If you are here - who is running hell?
How did I escape Iraq? Iran.
Here's $10. Drink until I am really good looking, then come and talk to me.
The lesson of Halloween is that pretending to be something you're not will lead to a sweet reward.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?" Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."
Who doesn't eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey because it is always stuffed.
Sometimes the first step to forgiveness, is realising the other person was born an idiot.
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.
I have as much authority as the Pope, i just don't have as many people who believe it.
Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
Outvoted 1-1 by my wife again.
The difference between "Girlfriend" and "Girl Friend" is that little space in between we call the "Friend Zone".
Telling a girl to calm down works about as well as trying to baptize a cat.
If you really want to know about mistakes, you should ask your parents.
People say money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you had enough money, you can have a key made.
I'm emotionally constipated. I haven't given a shit in days.
Intelligence is like an underwear. It is important that you have it, but not necessary that you show it off.
I hate people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious.
I hate girls that complain about being single every 3 minutes. 90% of my socks are single & you don't see them crying about it.
I don't think you act stupid, I'm sure it's the real thing.
Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant. Dirty Bastards.
I eat my tacos over a Tortilla. That way when stuff falls out, BOOM, another taco.
If I wanted to kill myself I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ.
I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
Failure is not an option—it comes bundled with the software.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
When an employment application asks who is to be notified in case of emergency, I always write, "A very good doctor".
Never laugh at your girlfriends choices... your one of them.
I'm sorry I wasn't part of your past, can I make it up by being in your future?
What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.
Every time you talk to your wife, your mind should remember that... 'This conversation will be recorded for Training and Quality purpose'
When I die, I hope I have enough time to point at a complete stranger and whisper "You did this."
If someone hates you for no reason, give that motherfucker a reason.
Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
I'm great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.For when you are in a hurry to make people laugh, just pull out one of these brilliant short one-liner jokes that are guaranteed to make people laugh, probably because of how silly they are. They are all perfectly true though. we love funny one liner jokes. It’s always amazing to us how so much wit and double meaning can be encapsulated in such short jokes. That though is the beauty of good one liners.see our latest post visit Bittusharma.com